My Life, God's Manifest

2007-03-24T01:01:00.000+08:00

yo. Its been a loonng time.

This blog shall no longer exist to serve its formal function, but to remain as it is. Ive decided to leave the past, together with this blog behind, of course never to forget it, but to leave it behind.

Farewell.

2006-12-05T16:30:00.000+08:00

I wanted to delete all my other posts, and start anew. But i almost forgot, that i must allow God's work to manifest in my life, and in my blogs , which is why my previous post is not there.

Alot has happened in my life ever since then. I learned alot through painful experiences and immeasurable joy ive found in God.

Just pray for me, that i will be strong in my faith, and that i will always believe in God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

Ive been going through a series of pain, of trials. Thoughts overflow my head which can only mean that i am maturing spiritually. Believing is something that cannot be taught, but cultured, and i believe i am in that process of cultivating my believe in God.

May God sustain my soul.

Its been a trying period. On the 3rd of november, my grandmother passed away. A week before that, the start of the test of my faith began. till now i still struggle, and i hope that whoever is reading this will pray for me, fellow christians out there. BUt i know that i'll see her again in heaven, because she accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior on National day! Praise to the God of Love!

Nevertheless, i cannot deny that God was with me through the O levels even after the loss. Praise God for that! How do i know? because i believe. Thats something to be cultured as i have mentioned. To other christians who may be reading this, take note that this is really important. We must be strong in our faith always.

I learned that through faith, we believe in Him whom we do not see, and through our doubts we must stand firm. Such is the spiritual stamina that we must preserve and keep on moving. In the book of James, it speaks of this in the beginning chapters.

Its so important. Faith.

God please heal me, feel my pain and understand o God! my heart aches but i will still believe you God! I will run to you! Always!
Forgive me for not being faithful to you! Forgive me for being the hateful person i used to be. Forgive me for the evil i have participated in! I know i am forgiven, you have shown your mercy to me through many ways. You protect the weak and helpless from evil! Please help me!

Hear us o God from heaven! hear us.

May God Bless all who reads this! everyone!

Gabriel.

2006-10-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

ignore that previous post.. i was just tired... my imagination tends to run wild...haha

feelingbetter.. its ironic how i portray irrational issues when im being irrational myself..

oh well, just have to work harder..

God Bless
Gabriel

2006-10-02T14:26:00.000+08:00

Ok, lets take a look at how i fared for prelims as of this moment. GEog, failed. SS, just passed, overall my humanities its finished. i dont know why, but its possibly due to the fact that i was not answering the question, or maybe i didnt have the mental capacity to do so. i dont know... maybe i was born dumb, stupid.. with no intelligence... and im just trying my best to be somebody in the academic field.. but in the end, its futile.. all the efforts, all the hopes.. dashed...

Maths on the flipside was pretty encouraging, even though i couldnt get an A1(which happens to be the highest grade ever known to spore education system). pathetic. After all the countless hours i spent practising, putting up with remarks in tuition, and stretching my limits, i get a pathetic A2. wow, what a great achievement coming out, considering all the money i invested on tuition that costs a whopping 280 a month for a class of 6. I am so complete!

I guess no matter how hard you try to carve success out of yourself, its impossible. its useless and it ends up in moral discontentment which eventually leads to the self-dissuation of a person, or a student in particular who only desires the simple pleasures in life and not go through all this shit of getting good grades, proving to be the best and finding a job and serving the global campaign we know as "globalisation". i happen to be that student. this world is never worth living in.. life is meaningless.. why didnt God just restart this world? it was perfect until humanity had the chance to ruin it. what monstrous creatures human beings are...

yes, all that ranting is a sheer display of the not-so-elaborative thoughts of a person undergoing the early stages of depression.. maybe...

so, to those who get grades that are below your expectations, work harder. but then again, there is a difference about how rational your "not meeting your own expectations" is. Lets just say, be contented with your results, especially to those who scored below 10 for L1R5. its really good, and if you're dissatisfied about that, i think you need some psychological help. just as much as i do even now as i am typing this.

PRelims, meant to encourage you? or destroy your confidence? i guess it works both ways... i happen to fall in the latter.

never felt like this before... never this broken.

Gabriel

2006-09-27T19:51:00.000+08:00

Preliminary exams are almost coming to an end. A small relief i guess, before the hardcore mugging continues. O level, its nearing, and yet so far...

Been facing alot of problems about myself and difficulties around me. I do have a problem with always keeping the optimism. I kinda lost my cool earlier in class over the add maths paper. then again as i look in retrospect, it was a terrible thing to do.

Ever since samuel's parting, i vowed always to change myself, yet sometimes the oldself comes back unintentionally. its a challenge i guess, a lifelong one until i finally reach the personality i want to have.

Is there something wrong with me? or am i just exhausted. i take things too seriously sometimes. Im like an unstable element thats not always in control sometimes. i gotta beat this hot-temperism of mine.

ITs been an eventful day.. i hope tomorrow's a better day.

numb with no emotions...

God Bless
Gabriel

2006-09-21T14:32:00.000+08:00

im b a c k.

To galvin who commented, thanks alot. Thank you for your kind words of enouragement, we all needed it.. It brings me comfort to know that A fellow brother in Christ whom i do not know, gave me words of encouragement. Such is the work of the body, such is the work of the Holy spirit, such is the work, of God.

I wrote a song, just yesterday, completed today. Its dedicated to our dear friend, Samuel Tan.

Ever since that night i learned about your death,
I never failed to cry, cuz you're not there.
The Legacy you left will always last,
The memory of you etched deeply in our hearts.

My friend, you were always there with us,
My friend, we'll remember who you were.
Our friend, you are dwelling in His place,
Best friend, we look forward to see your face.

Your life in 49 we'll keep alive,
The unyielding passion you showed us we adored.
As we reminisce at those fresh good o'l days,
Sweet memories and moments of you and us will not fade.

Lord Jesus, thank you for this man of God,
My Savior, strengthen us as we cope with his parting,
It just a parting,
Temporary parting.

you will be remembered.

God Bless
Gabriel

2006-09-19T11:30:00.000+08:00

Its time to move on...

Ive already begun resuming my studies...

im recovering... Praise the Lord

"I have fought the good fight, i have finished the race, i have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day- and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."- 2 Timothy 4: 7-8

God Bless,
Gabriel

2006-09-18T21:25:00.000+08:00

i thank God for giving us such a understanding principal. We had our prelims postponed two days later. Mr ong is an amazing person.. i really respect him.

Even so, to some, if not most of us, two days isnt enough for myself to recuperate. Everyday i would always think of him, and i would never fail to weep, and break down. its tough. even though i mention that the weeping had to stop, its hard.

Its so hard for me to comprehend the reason why this is happening. i know the reason, but perhaps there could be another possible way of bringing us back to the Boy's Brigade. But then again, God knows us so well. He loves us.

I still mourn, and grieve for a fellow friend, who was a boy, but a man at heart. One of the best of friends i could ever have in my life. I so , very much, regret not talking to him more often, catching up with him.

we all loved him. the pain, of this departure is so seemingly unbearable. Its a weight i have to withstand. my heart still aches, but my hopes still remain. This is true mourning. you lose a loved one, and knowing that you will meet again, u still breakdown, and weep over the separation. but its only physical, not spiritual.
i Pray that God will always stand by me, and lift me up. i so very much need God right now..

i feel so lost, so undefined.. yet hopeful at times...

its a rollercoaster. is this the process of mourning?

God, please, help all of us...

Gabriel.

2006-09-17T08:34:00.000+08:00

i believe i know why Samuel had to go. It was God's way and purpose for each and every one of us. Personally, i knew the message. I have to change myself, my personality, my character.

I feel so ashamed really, and im determined to change completely.

Tryin my very best to throw away my old self.

ITs been a numb weekend for me. A part of me still resists against reality of the fact that sam's gone. Still, i am slowly accepting this. No doubt its gonna affect my in my prelims, but hey thats another thing.

The only thing in my mind now is to execute a smooth crematory service for him in about a few hours time.

Thanks my friends for the support and encouragement.

Please pray for us, the 8 ofus who will be the coffin bearers. Pray that we will be strong and will be able to withstand the weight of the coffin.

God help us.

Gabriel.

A tribute to our friend. Samuel.

2006-09-15T13:45:00.000+08:00

On the 14th of September 2006 at approximately 7.30pm, our dear friend Samuel Tan was called home to be with the Lord . It was a devastating day for most of us who knew him. i am saddened of not being able to see him and talk to him again. Little did i know that my conversation with him 2 days ago on the phone would be my last.

But then again, i am reassured that i will one day speak to him again, not on this earth, but in a place much better than this planet, with no limits and no governence by time nor any other authority than God who loves us so much. Brothers and Sisters, we should be happy for him. For he is in a better place now, and he doesnt need to suffer the trials of this world. But of course, we will all miss him.

A little of samuel's life and personality.
I looked upon him many times as an outstanding role model of integrity and perseverance. He had all the qualities of a leader and was a leader in the making. At times he would reach out to those who struggled and he was a terribly polite person. we will miss him
When tasked with projects, he will never fail to press on and overcome all possible obstacles so long as there is a single breath in him. Working with him in the boy's brigade was indeed an honour and a priviledge. we will miss him
There are only a few individuals in this world who are worth our respect and friendship, and leadership. Samuel Tan was one of these gifted children of God. There will never be another like him in his special way. we will miss him

Reality sets in, and we must all accept the reality that Sam is no longer walking in this world with us, but he is dwelling in a realm that far outshines this earth. Just as Mr Ong our principal shared, let us all learn to turn this series of events into strength. Let us all reflect on how we should spend the remaining days of our lives, glorifying God and serving him faithfully. Let us cherish this breath of life that our Lord gave us for the sole purporse of fulfilling his work until he returns and we be reunited with him.

Praise God.

The Lord is my Shepherd, and i shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in the path of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
i will fear no evil,
for you are with me,
your rod and your staff they comfort me.
You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies
you annoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and i will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
-Psalm 23.

God Bless and strengthen all of us.
Gabriel

2006-09-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

Its too sudden Lord. Why did you take him away?

He promised you to serve in the boy's brigade. But he couldnt. Now i think i am more than determined to do so...

right now...

i know you are in control... yeslord you are.... always......

I rejoice in Lord for he has been called home to you... May God Bless him and all of us in this difficult time....

Samuel, you will be greatly missed. Your legacy will continue in all of us who knew you so well and shared joy and bitterness together...

Sorry we couldnt establish the tabernacle together...

GOD I FEEL TERRIBLE NOW!!!!!

it feel so damn weird typing this out.... My mind is ina mix now...

i need time.

2006-09-13T12:21:00.000+08:00

hey blog.. been quite a while since i visited.. i dont think anyone ever bothers to read this blog anymore, maybe veron.
Its been quite a satisfying and so far accomplishing week. English yesterday was good, especially paper 1. The argumentative topic given was the very same question i attempted somewhere at the beginning of the year... interesting..
Paper 2 was surprisingly rather easy, i guess it really helps taking some time to read the Times magazine or newsweek. Its worth the price.. i just hope my comprehension answers were to the point.
Practical today was amazingly easy. To think that i would run out of time.. i finished it 25 minutes before the end of the paper. Relief is the very word.
Yet the real battle awaits far in the next 2 months. It has been and will be stressful period for all of us, yet we must always remember to commit our work and best efforts to the Lord.

2 more months left to go.. keep up the fighting stamina until the very end!! never give up all you secondary 4s and JC 2s who may probably be reading this...

God Bless
Gabriel

A Tribute to the croc hunter.

2006-09-04T23:07:00.000+08:00

Everybody will remember Steve Irwin as the golden haired man who was hardly seen without his uniform. This is a tribute video about him.. really touched my heart...
ITs a loss really, and condolescence to the irwin family...

2006-08-14T18:47:00.000+08:00

Planetshakers once again hit singapore with a gospel-advocating shake. It was awesome, although i wasnt in the best of health to wholeheartedly worship God. Nonetheless i did, and almost lost my voice. The drummer was cool, wild and gifted!! haha

Oral examination( o lvls) on the flipside wasnt too good to begin with. Had a bad throat and was weighed down by a package of illness. Hope the examiners will understand. I must get A1 for oral, cuz, its soo easy. Sigh, in a state of apprehension now. I keep worryin about it. What a way to begin the o level examinations.

I learnt something from this experience. Never practise intensively before any oral examination and always put that NRIC or EXLINK in your pocket. i had to run back and take it and ended up in an exhausted state. So, i screwed reading aloud. bad bad bad.... crap...

Hope i'll get this over and done with... exam stress is coming in and out of all of us, like waves in sporadic motion...

well, i believe everything happens for a reason. God's reasons. so yeah, i know there are certain things he wants me to realise and learn from... perhaps using o lvls at that expense..

Gabriel.

2006-08-09T15:29:00.000+08:00

I guess ive been loosing touch with society today. Or am i not?

ANyways i dont think i'll be blogging much these days.. this is pretty much a dead blog now. but thats gonna change..

Is it just me or is it the scorching weather thats affecting everyone's mood. Teachers over the past few days have been blasting their frustration at us for our "misconduct". Patience is evidently running dry on everyone, on myself too.

Been in the worst of moods lately. Incessently changing from a happy and jovial dude to an angry orge. lol

eng oral o lvl next monday. How prepared am i? i guess im ready to score.

Class tests these few weeks have been really depressing. keep failing chemistry. GUess its time to really open those textbooks.

peace out.
Gabriel

2006-07-30T22:29:00.000+08:00

I just caught the movie "the lake house", just a few hours ago. It was one of the most moving movies ive ever seen this year. CErtainly not to be missed.

It leaves you intoxicated with the prospect of a different kind of love, or perhaps love that many have almost forgotten; true love. yes, true love is worth the wait, of which God has created. It has in stored for you tests and difficulties. You jus gotta persevere all the way until you get there. But love cannot be rushed, or sought at your own will. i believe God will show you when the time is ripe, when your heart is ready for this new journey, a journey with a life partner.

That was exactly what this movie taught me. Really moving...

and by the way, sandra bullock was the perfect actress for the role in the movie. Theres something about her that further defines love...

If only i had a lake house, of tranquility and peace, where love really stands out the most.

Gabriel.

2006-07-26T23:14:00.000+08:00

If there is ever a movie worth watching, it would have to be Patch Adams.
If there is ever a magazine worth reading, it would have to be The National Geographic Magazine.
If there is ever a drink worth drinking, it would have to be milo.
If there is ever a channel worth watching, it would have to be the National Geographic.(again)

The fever of the o levels draws closer every day. Sometimes i wonder why we are to hard-press ourselves as we gear up for the half-mth long exam that will predetermine the future of our lifestyles?

Lifestyles as a member of the cosmopolitan world maybe.

But is this true assessment? Must the education authorities enforce so much emphasis on written scripts when the whole idea is to shape and mould a person for the "bright" future?
How does that support support the notion of placing students into a period of examinations, while life itself, is an examination?

Perhaps this is the only way to keep the world spinning with its devastating flaws, flaws of which lies in mankind.

Yet there could be a better way to assess students, other than taking tests, exams in particular...

just a thought.

God Bless,
Gabriel

2006-07-14T23:24:00.000+08:00

Have u ever looked back and reflect on how your secondary school life was enriching, and fulfilled? When was the last time we met and had real friends?

i feel like such a fool. I feel like an empty person, with no true character, no confidence and determination. i guess i missed out on some of the greatest things that a young teenage student could ever had. Its something that money cant measure up to. im not sure what it is, ive always had this nagging feeling that im wasting time.

But after watching some of the videos posted by bundit on youtube, i realised i missed out on establishing real, frienships. Fellowship, like ive mentioned, is amazing and life-lasting.

Perhaps the problem is me. Maybe im not a good person, im not too good a person to know and acknowledge. Everybody has their issues, their struggles, some of which requires many years to overcome, or simply insurmountable.

Sometimes, most ofthe time, i hate myself for doing stupid things. Many times i questioned God about my existence, the continuation of human existance when its so screwed up ever since the day eve ate that fruit. That was the worst day in human history. The fall of man, the reign of sin, and our mortal death.

I struggle, even now with all these thoughts in my head. i dont understand why im typing this, and i will never know whether it'll make it though publishing. But i do know that God has a plan, for every one of us. everyone.

No matter how hard you try to fight that, its true. The mistakes you make, and decisions you enforce, its all part of God's will.

A speaker once told me, that our lives are moving in his ways, and we live our lives for him, not for ourselves. For we were purchased so heavily by the death of a sinless.

Ive struggled. This year has been the most eventful period of my spiritual life. Ive faced many trials and temptations, doubts and anger, and all these i knew, even though i couldnt really understand, were to strengthen me.

So to all who are struggling, be it school work, exams, bgr, employment issues, and others, God is in control. Yes, and you can be certain of it. Cuz when the time comes, he'll show you the cause and effect, the result of your labour and hardwork, the reward he has installed for you.

No matter how many times the evil one tries to take you away, flood your mind with evil and deceitful thoughts, force upon you temptations and trials that are simply difficult to overcome, always stay to the truth, and the truth is, God will never leave you nor forsake you. God is there, even though he may be silent. God is always there, when you're wondering who made the universe. God is there when u face the death of a loved one. The Lord has always been at work..

Have faith! walk life by it, and not by sight!

God Bless!
Gabriel.

2006-07-07T12:50:00.000+08:00

haha, sry about that char...

Had a great time last night. Was jamming on my guit when i suddenly thought of a title"walking away from this world". I decided compose a song out of that theme.

and i did, transforming it into a christian song. it speaks of my experiences with God and the many times i failed him and disappointed him. yet Praise God for his grace and unconditional love for us. So i decided to write a song.

Sounds pretty good. But i believe theres room for futher improvement.

I managed to incorporate 4 chords into it. starting with G.

i present to you, "walking away from this world"

How can i be so foolish? How can i be so Blind?
After all you've done for me.
After all you've shown me.

How can i ever doubt you? How can i ever blame you?
You were there for me.
Comforting, helping me.

Truly you are Lord, God of all!
To worship you in awe, thats what we're for!

I'm walking away form this world,
In wait of your plans to unveil.
I offer my life unto you,
Use me as you would do.

All my life i've been yearning.
In search for the truth and life's meaning.
But you are the only answer,
and that is you my savior!

With every setback i was facing
I complained and cursed without thinking
Yet you were all so patient
You freed me from my sin.

I'm walking away form this world,
In wait of your plans to unveil.
I offer my life unto you,
Use me as you would do.

Oh Lord you are the way,
The truth and the life
we live by faith and not by sight

The lyrics for the bridge is exactly the same for "one way" but in a different melody.

Thank you Lord for inspiring me....

Gabriel

2006-07-06T21:07:00.000+08:00

The difficulty of earning a place in polytehnic is comparable to graduating to Jc. Went to check out the course "aeronautics engineering", cut off point is 12.

Its a difficult, but possible reach..

Sigh...

Been facing many distractions lately. Dont know when i'll start mugging... When i'll put an end to all my procastination..

Maybe after the world cup, things will settle, and we'll get back into our academics. hopefully.

Italy must win, Italy must triumph over the french...
They have to!!!!

Gabriel

2006-07-03T21:59:00.000+08:00

I decided to give my blog a little refurbishment, into a more mature theme. I guess having a tagboard doesnt really serve the purporse of blogging. Rather, its a common and misleading way of wasting people's time.

Just my luck, a movie certainly not to be missed. Caught it with my good friends at cathy.

Youth sunday yesterday was a success! Good job to all who performed and contributed in someway or another. tho i was a little slow on the choreography of the youth gathering at the last song of the worship...oops! lol too overwhelmed by the song.... thanks candice!

It feels great going back to church, a gathering of a whole family of God. That is where the real world is, the reality. Having fellowship with one another is a priceless occasion that lift's a person's spirit. Of all the 7 days in a week, Sunday is the day thats real. The rest conform to the ways of this world, of which is unreal, temporary, and governed by evil. It is a world that will pass away in dreadfulness. oh how i hate this world...

Brazil's defeat in the world cup was a shock to the world. But i guess brazil deserved it. they underperformed during the whole season, and they certainly dont deserve to enter the semi-finals. It pains me to say this despite the fact that i rooted for brazil. Looks like brazillian captain cafu has to step down excruciatingly. Sad.

Its the 2nd week of term 3. that means 9 weeks to prelims. Technically, its 10 more including the 1 week holiday. And looks like the gravity of the impending examinations isnt getting to me, or my classmates. I wouldnt deny that i am gearing up for the prelims. Plannings and all are more or less done. I hope the study group works out.

God Bless
GAbriel

2006-06-30T14:17:00.000+08:00

Thank God for Youth day.

_

2006-06-28T23:02:00.000+08:00

Living is a lifelong challenge. But just recently ever since the industrial revolution, there is an added challenge; to withstand the scorching climate, year after year, after year. It'll only take about a couple more years before the installation of air-conditioners becomes mandatory island-wide. So, fill up those petrol tanks! And drive your way to kingdom come! Slaughter the green forests of this world, and and live your way to extinction, you modern human beings!

lol.

Brazil Brazil Brazil..., its football team has so far never been a disappointment! Ronaldo is seriously possessed, in a good way, breaking the record of scoring the most goals in the finals of world cup. Sunday 3am Brazil vs France. Its a tough match, and its gonna be difficult. My support is with brazil. WHOOOO

9 and a half weeks to prelims. What is my academic progress currently? i rate it 0.5%.
These are the times when i truly appreciate and enjoy the days in lower secondary. I'll never forget my secondary 2 days; the unity of the class, and the hysteria. So, this is what secondary school is all about? cool, im cool with that. And i shall end my term as a sec sch teen solemnly as i gear up for the o levels. Such is the necessary, and inevitably disgusting way of ending secondary school life.

Our lives have been stolen, robbed.

God Bless
Gabriel

2006-06-25T21:46:00.000+08:00

If only school can be this cool...

2006-06-23T15:41:00.000+08:00

"The Soverign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights"- HABAKKUK 3:19

For the first time since the world cup started, i managed to muster the strength to wake up for a brazillian match! haha. only managed to catch the 2nd half. Was probably the most impressive performance for brazil! 4-1, trashed japan, just as i envisaged.

Its amazing how God speaks to us even in the most mysterious ways. Yes it is true that the decisions we make in life, even the most mundane ones, must be in accordance to God's will.

I just bought a casing for my bible. Thankfully it suits perfectly. Its about time i give my 8 year old bible a better treatment. It has seen through most of my christian life ever since i accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, been with me when i travelled to the holy land;israel. It is more than a book to me, its my manual of life. Just as a youth pastor once described the purporse of the bible back in 2002 plh camp(we camped at the bb campsite), that it is our instruction manual, just like any kind found in packagings of manufactured products. WE are the products, made by God, and he has given us this instruction manual. Its a simple yet amazing analogy.

So treat your bibles with reverence, just as much as you treat the house of God with full respect.

Got a copy of Paul Baloche's latest album. His songs are no doubt a set of masterpieces, fusing both contemporary and modern worship styles. A greater song; my recommendation. Buy it while stocks last

School commences next week. The holidays were generally fast paced, especially during church camp. A good break, but a break thats inadequate.

Afterall, who doesnt agree that all holidays are short?

God Bless
Gabriel

2006-06-20T13:59:00.000+08:00

Every nation, Every tribe, Every people, Every language.

Church camp this year was one of the best ive ever had in my years as a presbyterian. It seemed so short despite the usual duration of 5 days and 4 nights.

dont wish to blog about the substance of this camp as for now, cuz i caught flu on the way back home.

To sum it up for now, Worship is defined as a lifelong practise, and it doesnt only pertain to church praise and worship.

God is answering my prayers, i can see his plans unfolding and love being manifested especially through this camp. Lighthouse is a step closer to revival, and i hope this spiritual momentum continues.

Just an additional note. Why are there still acts of hostility present in church? I know ive done many wrongs in the past, but that doesnt mean i cant change. Im tryin, day by day, correcting my characteristics, for the best, for God.

I have hated myself in the past for doing things that are intolerable, unacceptable as a christian.
For that i loathed myself. i know i was wrong in being prideful, just as others pointed out to be indirectly during the easter camp.

Yes i was a proud and arrogant person. I was an idiot .But thats changing, no more will i be the same Gabriel of the past.

My turning point started in march where i was afflicted with a terrible disease and had to undergo a frightening ordeal. i know my mistakes. and i know i still make mistakes.

Though you do not speak, but i can discern through your actions how my position as a fellow member are placed in ur judgemental books.

All i ask is for patience, and acceptance.

Because of this, there were many times i have felt like leaving lighthouse.

But God gave me a clear message, especialy through this camp. And i will be permanently bound to PSPC, to lighthouse. Cuz i love plh, and my church. I know spiritually, our church is unstable. But i believe in God's revival of a church.

This is where i belong, and i will stay. So please, whoever that still despises me, or dislikes me to different extents, understand.

Aside from all the unhappiness, i am thankful to God for allowing me to attend this camp.

It was a camp of concrete substance, and experience.

Thats all i will post for the day.

GodBless!
Gabriel

2006-06-14T23:09:00.000+08:00

Its such a mediocre run now. I guess having to go to school is healthy. World cup Fever gets even better!

I have undeniably wasted most of my holidays jus idling around and gaming. Hopefully i'll come back to my senses after the church camp. Its the o levels year!!

Church camp commences tomorrow. Got a great feeling about this camp. Its gonna be enriching, focusing alot about worship styles!

Time to go!

God Bless
GAbriel

2006-06-11T21:38:00.000+08:00

ok so Germany defeated costa rica 4-2 with 3 astounding goals within the first 16 minutes!
World cup jus got off a hot start, and it gets even better! Wed 12.00 is brazil's show, brazil vs croatia. I give my full support to brazil!

yesterday we had combined presbyterian games day. Despite the fact that we got trashed(team A), nevertheless it was good exercise for me. REalised how much ive slackened. TEam B did us(plh) proud! and so did the captain ball team! Rock on!!!

Church camp in jus 4 days time. Hopefully it'll be a success and yes, a great time for fellowshipping with one another.

Peace out!

2006-06-09T20:32:00.000+08:00

yes, i know ive been a terrible blogger. Been at my best in balancing out work and play time. Seems inevitable that the amount of time i use to gain gaming entertainment surpassess my revision time. Gotta do something about that!

So, yesterday, my friends(jun frog c.y tw jeremy chek) decided to catch yet another pixar success"cars", at tampines mall. I must complement pixar's never failing creativity and intimate efforts put in every project. But before that we had a little "breakdown".

We were descending from the 4th level when the lift gave a lil jerk when it reached level 3. Little did all of us know that was an indirect warning of the impending disaster that strucked us moments later; a frigging breakdown. An old lady was wise enough to escape.

"poseidon", more than just the title of a movie and the name of a ship.

Anyways, we were trapped in there for approxmiately 40 mins? YEs it exceeded the sop as demanded by one of us(the trapped people). He doesnt sound like a bb officer, more like an army big shot. Imagine standing, or should i say, squeezed in a stuffy enclosure for 40 mins.
Despite the confinement, we continued to joke endlessly, like we always do. Guess its good afterall, lightening up the anxious atmosphere in the lift.

Back to CARS. Its a masterpiece. Yet, there is a couple of morals embedded deep in the movie.
ANd watch out for the bonuses at the credits!

ITs been aboring holiday.

World cup in a few hours time, stocking up on caffine just to stay awake!

Goal!!
Gabriel

2006-05-31T22:51:00.000+08:00

Awesome dude! Beatbox professional performed at sydney... shouldnt it be australian idol not american idol then?

It seems more convienent and entertaining to post vid clips. Today's definitely vid clip day!

cheers!
GAbriel.

2006-05-31T17:24:00.000+08:00

shes brookers btw. oh heres another of her craze creations!
appreciate its hysteria!

2006-05-31T17:16:00.000+08:00

done by my one of my favourite youtube directors.

enjoy!

2006-05-29T16:49:00.000+08:00

Its been a refreshing weekend for me. Im really glad i attended calvary, spending some time to really worship God and listen to a powerful sermon. Ive ever felt this light and pure, but that was a long time ago. Now im back to where i left of. In life, its so easy to stray away into sin, and most of the time we cannot fight the clutches of evil. Yet the God of all things can abolish evil from you, and it only takes a prayer.

God answered my questions(as posted in the previous entry) that troubled me yesterday during the sermon. The answer is, the whole book of Habakkuk. PRaise him who listens and understands your life!

Ive been trying to get back to where i left of, and still at times evil is allowed to disrupt you from walking closely with God. But if u take some time to sit down and really meditate in God's word, your faith will always be there.

An american youth pastor spoke to us(calvary youths) on sat night and sunday morning. A dedicated servant of God, and his humour never fails. He believes that we are the generation that possess the greatest potential to sweep Singapore, even the world and re-establish God's kingdom in every corner! I believe so, but it takes a great deal of thinking, consideration for that to happen.

HE challanged us to consider giving up our lives to do that. That means surrendering all the rights you have in life to God, and trusting them with him. Such as the right to excel in academics, the right to have a degree, the right to have a decent job, to have a relationship and a family, etc...

Christians. Are you up for this challange? It isnt easy to do that.
It requires a great deal of consideration, and possibly time.

I struggled with that when he asked us. Just last night, i told the Lord that i'll surrender the right to excel in my studies to him, trusting that he'll lead me in the right path, and enjoy my life, according to his absolute purporse.

We were all bought at a costly price, a price that no amount of wealth can compare to. The price of the death of a sinless man, whose unconditional love made it possible for you to enjoy the luxury of sitting in front of a computer and reading this.

Theres no greater love than this...

So its only right for us to surrender all to him, cuz we're his property. Lets all live in accordance to God's plan for us.

To any who reads this: take some time to think about this.

God Bless!
Gabriel

"The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights"-HABAKKUK 3:19

2006-05-27T15:38:00.000+08:00

As my poor conduct of blogging shows, i have come to realise that maybe blogging may be an added innecessity of a person, least a student's life. its time that i cut down on my blogging.

Yesterday we received our report books. For most of us, it is a reflection on a sheet of paper of our poor conduct over the past 5 years, how much we have wasted our time on the frivilous aspects of life, shelfing our academics aside. I have to add that the midyear was composed with the intention of "killing" most students and giving them the motivation to strive harder.

There is some truth in there, but still there was no need to set exam scripts of overrated standards. The real battle is the o levels afterall.

This monday is a day of firsthand experience of what its like to be sitting in for a national exam that will further determine ur life. Best of luck for those who are taking it! chinese... u either get it or you dont.

Living out life is undeniably an uphill task. Trying to be righteous and steadfast is even harder. In this corrupt world where evil is liberated, the tension between what is good and what is destined for eternal damnation becomes even stronger. The end times is coming, every second it makes its slow appearance in the history textbooks. Many times i ask God, how long more till you'll show this world its foolishness? howlong more will you change this world forever?

God works in many ways, with his reasons that sometimes we cannot see yet.
God is love and its really reassuring to know that he is always in control.

The June holiday awaits! i hope i can use it fully to catch up with my studies, and to understand more about God!

God Bless!
Gabriel

2006-05-24T18:35:00.000+08:00

youtube is by far the best and most entertaining website of all time! was surfing through the top videos till i stumbled across this idiosyncratic yet cool clip. check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/v/BhoJvfX9Emo type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350">

2006-05-19T17:49:00.000+08:00

I believe everything happens for a reason.

Though the reasons are hard to comprehend, they are for the greater good.

Today's probably the worse day of the week. Results came flushing in from the teacher's stack of scripts and did nothing but to upset all of us. Never expected myself to fail A maths, though undeniably it was a killer. At least we all know where we stand in our academics. roughly.

Anger followed by frustration and ultimately complete surrender were the emotions i felt after receiving the last paper of the day.

In any case i still thank God for my grades, as i have thanked him for all the ordeals and struggles i went through. Struggling with many prospects of life is certainly necessary for our growth, be it mentally, or spiritually.

For those who didnt perform to your expectations, do not be disheartened. For the bible says

"It is God who works in you
to will and to act
according to his good purporse.-philippians 2:13"

God Bless
Gabriel

2006-05-12T10:37:00.000+08:00

Today's headlines."china's rise will renew interest in chinese here". thought i dont agree with that statement, maybe it'll change in 10 years time. I can safely say that majority of students now have placed the language of chinese in their hate list. That can change if schools(primary) can somehow brainwash their kids.

2 more papers to go next week. It'll be a relentless week indeed. exam schedule wasnt well planned i guess, not in such a way where we could complete them right before a weekend.

Been an awful long time since i blogged, i guess i have missed out on quite alot. Life is horribly mediocre when you're in a study spree, im glad im getting out of it. I was under intense stress for the past 2 weeks, I thought i was transforming into a nerd.

There are a few things im looking forward to for the rest of this month. And yes just as frog emphasized, the weather's been really crazy these days. I just realised how much the world has changed for the past 4 months. Not just the weather, but also the controversal da vinci code which is seemingly an endless episode of debates.

Time to loosen out a lil bit!
Gabriel

2006-05-01T12:55:00.000+08:00

A demanding secondary 4 life.

and beyond....

2006-04-23T21:44:00.000+08:00

Over the past few days, i've developed a great sense of love for nature. Pretty uncanny eh? Maybe its due to the fact that theres a family of birds living next to us. Yep, 2 birds created a well-shaped cozy looking nest out of dried branches with leaves; sort of a straw bowl on my neighbour's fern. If u were to look closely into the nest from above, you'll notice 2 little brown eggs lying on the centre of the nest, and every night you'll never fail to notice a long stretch of feather sticking out of the nest, where the birds soundly and peacefully sleeps with their unhatched young, putting their trust in us that we do not disrupt their home.

That is one of God's many wonderful and amazing creations. I thank God for giving me an opportunity to experience and witness the wonderful anatomy of his creation.

Nothing much to blog about these few days. Exams are coming up.

But theres a song i'd like to share with everyone. It talks about God's unfailing love for us, and how we can rely on him for strength. I think its an appropiate time to paste the lyrics of this song and let this be an encouragement to others who are facing some of their darkest times to turn to God and let him carry all your burdens away. This is a song, set in God's point of view.

I present to you "carry you" by Amy Grant.

Lay down your burdens
And I will carry you
I will carry you my child

Cause I can walk on water
Calm a restless sea
I've done a thousand things, you've never done
I'm here watching
While you struggle on your own
Call my name, I'll come

Lay down your burdens
And I will carry you
I will carry you my child

I give vision to the blind
I can raise the dead
I've seen a darker side of hell
And I've returned

I've seen these sleepless nights
I've watched every tear you cry
I know some lessons hurt to learn

Lay done your burdens
I will carry you
I will carry you, my child

God Bless all!
Gabriel

2006-04-14T11:22:00.000+08:00

Theological heresies are something i cannot tolerate. Yet just as much as they have surfaced over centuries, i can do nothing about it.

ItS Good Friday today. Not just a holiday, but a day worthy of rememberance, sacrament, and repentance. Its a day of reflection, and appreciation of the great love someone showed 2000 years ago.

I finally completed reading another book of the left behind series. OFten as i came across scriptures, sermons outlined even in those catastrophic novels, i would always be questioned about my faith in God. What if the rapture happens tomorrow? Should i be left behind? The thought of living out those terrible years of tribulations is enough to set me thinking; what good am i to have deserved such a heavenly gift-salvation. By Grace we have been saved, by grace alone. Praise God!

As expected, teachers poured in all the dreadful assignments they can possibly find into our school bags, expecting us to complete over this "long weekend". Some teachers dont turn out to be as professional as they acclaim themselves to be. That fact occured to me just recently.

Examinations are impending, and that implies more revision, less computering.

It'll be along time before i blog again.

GodBless
GAbriel

2006-04-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

Now what? the gospel of judas?
As far as im concerned, this supposedly thousand year old 26-page manuscript that opposes the 4 gospels of the bible is a human made conspiracy fabricated much for the purpose of commercial entertainment and monetary benefits. It pains and angers me to see the foolishness of humanity taking place and one prime and classic example of such atrocity is the recent hit "the da vinci code".

In a few minutes time, National Geographic will commence a documentary on the gospel of judas. lets see what they have to say. Based on the past documentary they have broadcasted, nat geo has its own agenda in terms of religious issues.

Fools...

Gabriel.

2006-04-07T21:39:00.000+08:00

Today's the worse day of the week. weighed down by so many tests and co-curricular activities, im totally beat out.

Enrolment service tomorrow. Freedom from bb, now how good is that? Ive waited months for this day. Practise today was excruciatingly annoying. I received word that im not in the good books of most of the higher authorities. I thought my hypocrisy was working well, oh well, whether they can decipher or not, it doesnt matter.

Its painful at times, that i have to end up hating bb. i dont know what went wrong, maybe its because of the ungratifying responses we got for our efforts.

Life will be much better in the following weeks to come, im sure of that.

May God strengthen me.

Today is "injury day". 2 of my classmates had severe injuries, one of which was more critical. Then another from 4j, and another... Even my dad had backaches, thats considered injuries right? Swells on my neck, namely my veins, for no apparent reasons. Now it jsut hurts everytime i turn sideways.

Gabriel.

2006-04-05T22:32:00.000+08:00

i wasted today.
i will waste it tomorrow.
The same goes for friday and saturday.
But after that, my time shall be misused no longer.

No more bullshit.
No more nags.
No more.

GAbriel

2006-04-01T21:18:00.000+08:00

What was i thinking?
Why didnt i join the symphonic band?
Why did i waste such an opportunity?...
what the heck was i thinking?

These were the questions i asked myself as i watched impressions 8 last night. Being musically inclined since young, i cant understand why i didnt give second thoughts about band. A mistake, one of the worst regrets ive ever felt in my life. I guess i wasted 3 years in bb.

Back to imp 8,

It was indubitably an impressive performance, but it could have been better! Try LOTR songs. They have the potential to play'em. Just as expected, a long sleeve shirt gang emerged from the tunnels of tanjong pajar mrt station, with the most outstanding in dark brown blazors; Jun. LOL

Students looked like adults(well not all of course). While some made full use of this opportunity to impress others with their outfits, others are however, not fit to enter a concert hall. I guess its pretty obvious how they gave their barbaric comments to the band. Owen saved the day, by countering them. i applaud that.

just moments ago, i got this sms " ah bee tell papa go club play pool".

This is getting out of hand...

Gabriel

2006-03-31T13:15:00.000+08:00

Tired and shagged.

Been almost a week since i last blogged. This inconsistency is due to the overload this school's been giving. i guess i wont be able to blog for the next few weeks.

Finally! impressons 8! Bought a shirt(long-sleeved) branded ripcurl. I predict that almost every male audience for tonight's concert will wear a long-sleeved shirt. REally amazing, cant wait to experience sitting in the concert hall with a multitute of formally dressed students.

Work is all that spells for school.
work wrok.
more work? alright...

till next time!
Gabriel

2006-03-25T21:51:00.000+08:00

I anticipated it.

There goes the warrant, there goes the founders. In every meeting, there'll always be blows from officers, but i never expected those bellows to begin with me. I cant be bothered anymore, i see no reason in putting effort in mm. BB is governed by rules and legislations that determines our qualifications for awards and promotions, so much so that it has forgotten the soul purpose of this organisation; to glorify God. Is bb doing that? i dont think so. All thats evident is the strive for attaining the awards and nationally recognised titles for the glorification of the company. What happend to our objective to" advance christ's kingdom amongst boys"?

Its true that such award scheme should be implemented to motivate boys to stay and perform consistently in bb. But i think we're focusing too much on that. We need solid bible studies, and to know our priorities. Perhaps the leadership should be more helpful and not to be constantly scrutinising boys' efforts.

Look at what bb is producing, least to say from my company. Take the nco council of 04 for example. how many actually returned to serve? I dont know about other coys but these are the boys that my coy is producing. Theres this sense of hatred towards bb being developed every year. Sad to say, im beginning to feel like one of them. I guess my bb term shall end abruptly in this manner. BB could have been a much better, and a much exciting cca to be involved in.

Thats how i feel. Refute if you wish to.

A wave of double disappointments struck me for the past 2 days, essentially ruining my weekend. Its been an extremely depressing week for me. I really hope this predicament will end.

GIGS tomorrow, looking forward to it.

God Bless
Gabriel

2006-03-24T22:07:00.000+08:00

History repeats itself. Why? i shant say why, i'll just put it all in a nutshell. I wasted my friday night(tonight) in a supposedly fruitful practise. Another disappointment.

I feel like a caged up bird, deprived of opportunities to hone my talents. Like ive wasted my entire youth, short of any experience or skills to discover. I dont know myself anymore.

Consumed by anger.

bb has caused much damage to my coming weekend.

Result slips were released today.
Really sad results, needed 1 mark to move from a 4 to 3 for 2 subs.
At least i passed them all.
Still, they're terrible results.

Looks like my complete seed is comin in handy. 3 complete seeds so far in our level. Lets see whos the 4th who chooses green! haha

Its time i formulate that timetable
Its time i turn to the books
Its time i change those grades

but its hard to maintain that academic stamina.

It was a complete waste of my friday night.

Till next time!
GAbriel

2006-03-23T21:29:00.000+08:00

Having Doubts is like being pierced in the heart by a poisoned arrow, where the venom spreads throughout the entire body and eventually you feel a sense of weakness within, a vulnerability that only God can remove and restore. Such is the trial a teen has to undergo.

I failed ss by half a mark. What a tragedy! Never had i performed so badly for ss... Now i depend on geog to pull me up for my overall grades. Never expected myself to depend on geog. Mathematics on the contrary, was good. Thank God for the grades despite the fact thati was ill during the exam periods. Today's TLL lesson was enriching, and satisfactory after completing a perfect piece of expository essay. Ahh the simple pleasures in education!

BB enrolment service practise tml. Dont know whos doing what, what songs we're playing. I sense a screwup.. hopefully it wont happen. But hey, in all my years in bb, screwups do happen all the time.

God bless
GAbriel

2006-03-21T16:58:00.000+08:00

Jeopardy. Indeed it was a jeopardy for real. Suffice to say, it was a really disappointing assembly today, with an incompetent host. No offense, really its my honest opinion based on logics. At least it was better than having SS at that same period.

Bought a crumpler bag named(dreadful embarrassment), and gonna change it today. Why? well, i bought it on impulse. Big mistake, but hopefully i can get a better model. Once again the demands of bb has clashed with an important event which i am supposed to be involved in. After april 8th, after that very day, i'll never render my services again to bb. no more...

Impressions 8 next friday! thats something worth waiting for. Really wana watch some hildan talents being showcased at a grandeur venue.

Gotta go
Gabriel.

2006-03-20T14:04:00.000+08:00

The dawning of school marks the end of our freedom.

So much to do, so little time left.

GAbriel.

2006-03-18T11:45:00.000+08:00

Truth is, in every single bb event, there will always be a certain degree of pretense in it.No matter how small or big it is, its always there. Besides the MOE healthy lifestyle occasion, yesterday's event was another example. We were told that the royal couple would be at the esplanade park where we formed the line of honour. Turns out that event was specially arranged for the duke of edinburgh only. Sheeshhhh.... At least i met her counterpart...

Met Grace Foo, formal st.hildan schoolmate. Really amazing actually, sometimes i get the feeling that it was necessary for all formal st.hildan primary schoolmates to just get together and chitchat, patch up. Shd that ever happen, i reckon it'll definately be an amazing moment. No matter how far we've travelled, how much we've achieved in life, we cant forget who were really were, where we came and grew up from. My days in shps will never be forgotten... I can still recall the very first day i entered the hildan compound. An assembly of crying newly-promoted primary 1 children was a common sight. The day we learnt 2 basic disciplinary actions "number 1", "number 2". haha, those were the days. Primary 3 and 4 were the crazy days...

Im reminiscing....

I guess this holiday was inadequately spent doing homework and rest. If only the one-week long holidays can be compromised to 2 weeks. thats something virtually impossible. Sigh...

Back to the dreary days folks! Back to school!

"The Blood of Jesus Christ His Song cleanses us from all sin".-1 john 1:7

Godbless
GAbriel.

2006-03-15T14:59:00.000+08:00

At long last the holidays are here. Well, they cant exactly be considered as one though, especially if its 1 week long. My pre-holiday weekend was once again robbed by bb.
CTC was fun, but time consuming. Moments spent with the boys were meaningful, sometimes eventful, but i guess some leaderships shouldnt be implemented. They were in fact, mistakes. I underwent the most depressing expedition in my whole bb life, with 2 "jackies" in my squad. Looking back at what we experienced in our rsc in contrast with this year's, the standards of discipline has been greatly reduced. a rather depressing camp indeed.

Life runs at the mediocre pace now, and i often find myself in a state of apprehension. I tend to anticipate the o levels and looking back at my current performances, i can only say this" Gabriel, you need more luck!" Distressed unnecessarily, thats a terrible disease.

Finally i can return to the all-familiar drum set of pspc and rock the church! Ive been out of touch from music for the past 3 weeks, its time i get back on it. I really hope the worship team will improve not only in its choice of songs, but also its currently insipid approach to worshipping God. Really, we can do more in areas of worship for him!

Do not be conformed to this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
-romans 12:2

This friday's gonna be big! I'll be standing next to royalty from England!

Stay tuned!
Gabriel

Change

2006-03-04T08:15:00.000+08:00

hmmm i jus realised that my tagboard has been dead. haha, nobody visiting? ok i'll update my skin jun but not now when my illness still linger.

Been going through some of the darkest times of my life. I felt insecure, lonely and helpless. I needed someone to be there for me, when i was ill. i still dont understand what mental illness i was suffering from. Its still there now, i struggle with some of the most mundane things in life. IT felt terrible, like i had a mind of a primary school kid, with no knowledge, no experience.

I realise how much i need friends. I was down with a series of illnessess for this whole week, and it made me realise how terrible a person i was. I had attitute problems, never failed to piss my friends off. I really apologise for the shit ive put everyone through. If i ever offended someone, whos reading this now, i jus wana say im really really sorry. Im changing, like everyone else, i can feel my character being molded and i wish to live life in a Godly way. I wana life according to God's will and purpose. I wana live life according to the fruits of the spirit.

I found the chemistry paper yesterday fairly difficult. Maybe it due to the medication that affected my focus, but i really hope that i'll do better than that. Been losing alot of confidence lately, i need inspiration, motivation to start life again, afresh, anew!

Thank you God for showing me all my flaws and shortcomings! Thank you for making me realise how much i have fallen short of your Glory!

Praise God!
GAbriel

2006-03-01T18:40:00.000+08:00

Again i struggled with earthly pressures. How long more must this go on?

I went to the doctor shortly after school, and got a diagnosis. My sickness eventually escalated to a disease known as "Pharynx". Apparently its really contagious, and it can easily spread to any surrounding individual by simply talking or breathing. Fuk why now? why do i have to put up with yet another one of these damn viruses? So whats next on the silver platter? Bird Flu?
Anyways, the doc gave me a $25 jab which is a effective anti-biotic against my disease. ok maybe the word"disease" is a lil exaggerated.

Thank goodness physics today was rather easy. The calculations were very fundamental. Maybe God wants me to relax in times of common tests, so he inflicted me with all these diseases. Either way i think ive benefited from this experience.

bb is bullshit. seriously, its too much of a sacrifise. April's gonna be my final cut for it, before i totally wash my hands off it.

I forgot to add that recently, as in 2 - 3 weeks ago, i saw my primary 5 teacher who shd have migrated to the US. Apparently shes back to teach st.hildas primary! thats great. I remember mrs seah as one of the few effective teacher ive had in my primary school days.

Gtg mug for ss
Gabriel

2006-02-28T18:00:00.000+08:00

Fever + Flu + running nose. Thats a deadly combination which i have been struggling since sunday; the immense unpleasant feeling as if u were surrounded by an aura of heat, the unfailing running nose, and the subborn coughs and sneezes. im still sick, and the CAs is starting tomorrow. Why of all periods must i fall sick now?!

Best of luck to all who are undertaking tests and exams. I gotta go mugg now..

GAbriel

2006-02-20T22:14:00.000+08:00

I cant believe it. I had to constantly remind myself that its monday, and that means raising the flag individually. Nevertheless i did remember, and it was a good raise wasnt it? haha

Today's monotony was managable, and i unintentionally stuttered when i gave my show and tell. I was definately unprepared, i could have summarised the backslides. Oh well, whats done cannot be undone. Thank goodness my articulation and pronounciation pulled me up. Thanks alot 4g for your honest votes.
(btw ___ sunday, the great wall of china can be seen in outer space)

Im gonna love this week. LJ tml, slack day for us. We're the only class going to CNB, why of all places cnb? Gonna learn about drugs, maybe they'll give samples... whoo!!!
Common test is just next week, wednesday to be precise. How prepared am i? On a scale of 0-10, with 10 being over-confident, i think its 4-5 for me. How ironic, after a less-demanding week comes the CAs. The school must have planned this on purpose, to give us a break instead of intense drilling sessions before our exams.

huo huo huo huo huo huo huo huo
Gabriel.

2006-02-16T20:31:00.000+08:00

I came across this note pasted on the notice board of my block. It is basically an informal warning letter, handwritten in poor chinese, from a resident to another resident. He/she complains about having to put up with the annoying barks from a dog, and wants the owner to "stop it from barking" or he will call the "POLICE". Ostensibly that uneducated individual could not write that in chinese. I was amused by that ludicrous attempt to address this trivial issue. I decided to blog about it so i took a pic of it.

Today has been a pretty hectic and mind-boggling repetition of strainous activites. Screwed my physics test, and churnned my energy into chemistry test. Seriously, i hope this year will be the last year ONG.HH teaches physics. She has failed us as a teacher, as much as alley eio did. Her unfathomable methods of teaching will eventually be the death of my class. She should jus teach cme or something unimportant.

Ive been experiencing some mental blockages recently. Like a terrible obstacle preventing me from learning, improving. Could it be due to a lack of sleep? Or my worries for my studies and performances. Either way, i've formulated solutions to my problems.

Time really flies. It is already the 16th of feburary, while it feels like feburary had just started yesterday. Its true that there is not much time left before the o levels. Revision has to start now, yet i am still weighed down by co-curricular activities and other areas of responsibilities with a non-chalant attitute towards the major exam in november.

When can i get out of this stressful environment?

Peace out
Gabriel

2006-02-14T18:55:00.000+08:00

Interesting day today.

Besides the fact that its valentine's day, ive never seen a teacher so wild as to ask his student whether he has a valentine's day letter written specially for him. He threatened by forcing that person to go chapel.

oh by the way, Happy Valentine's Day to all!

Still struggling with the essay chucky gave us. "A blessing in disguise" Seriously this topic should be screwed. Give something like colours, or other one word essays.

The japanese students from miyazaki nichidai high school visited our school grounds. Really cool and wild people. There was this girl who was seemingly dancing while climbing up the stairway. Its a pity that we had assembly while we could have spent the time socialising with them if they visited our classes. Darn it.

thats all for today
Gabriel

2006-02-12T15:39:00.000+08:00

Last night i heard a techno version of the song "because of you" by kelly clarkson on radio. it was utterly disgusting. Whats happening to the real taste of music?

Singapore idol, i'll definately freak out if i ever watch the auditions. Oh please spare the television screens, spare us from the agony of watching shitbags trying to make it big in the music industry.

Life's been pretty monotonous i guess. The o level results came out, and tinsley topped the level in L1R5. AT the same time, he's an accomplished bb boy. He'll make a perfect role model. I hope o levels will be just as easy as last year's.

oh well, cant talk much now, got loads to do.

PEace out
Gabriel

2006-02-06T13:54:00.000+08:00

Its been well over a week since i last blogged. Hours of continuous schooling and studying definately leads to a traumatic experience of fatigue.

I unintentionally developed an ulcer at the left wall of my mouth. Life sucks when u have to deal with the pain each time you consume food. Ive Been feeling sick these few days, going through a chain illness. One leads to another, and another.

Had a BGR talk yesterday. The story of Kara's parents proved really edifying to me. All my questions were indirectly answered, and i could hear God talking to me as Aunt Pearl and Aaron shared their testimonials. T'was the best BGR session i had.

Oh well, off to do more work!

Namaarie
Gabriel

P.S Singapore idol shouldnt exist.

2006-01-29T22:37:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!...

Now thats an appropriate way to start off my blog entry. I guess we can say that the chinese new year holiday isnt much of a study-break duration for us. Hong Baos are the source of my motivation when it comes to travelling across the country, visiting relatives. It seemed like only yesterday when i visited my cousins last year. Its amazing how time flies.
Everyone's growing, and it isnt too hard to accept that fact.

CAught the movie "i not stupid 2" yesterday. An amazing production once again done by our well-recognised local director Jack Neo. Im proud of the fact that they chose to film at my former primary school. Oh and btw, if you look closer at the backgroud, you'll be able to see chancheekeong walking in red polo.

Really shagged from all the handshakes, greetings, and hongbao collections today..

HAO YOU MAN TIAN XIA! cheers!

GAbriel

2006-01-27T22:29:00.000+08:00

Today's cool, everyones in the festive mood. Everything went well, least to say for our performance. Tho im not really recognised as a member, really glad about performing.

Find another player then...
Enough of those sarcasm...

I guess i have to put aside all my musical talents, and fully concentrate on studies. I'll do that right after cny. ITs jus sad, walking in this lifeless path straight into o levels, mugging day after day as if you have sacrifised your life for this examination that supposedly determines your life.

Jus as a close friend mentions in her blog, perhaps this is our punishment as sinners.

REally down now due to many reasons. Been thinking alot lately.

CAnt wait to get out of shss, this rathole. CAnt wait to move on further in life, to gain more knowledge. The only thing that hinders me and qualifies me; o levels.

gabriel_

2006-01-25T21:44:00.000+08:00

Time is not on our side. I get so lethargic after hours of dreadful subject periods in school every other friggin day, i can hardly steal time to eat lunch.

Was doing my best to "stay alive" in class as i endeavoured against my repetitive flu attacks in class today. Felt really fuked up. The irritating pain of runing nose sure does ruin a person's day. Fortunately for me, it was only during school hours. A math HA test today was surprisingly painless despite my medical condition. Thank God for it. Geog however was a lil screwed. I still regret making that desicion to take up geog on that fateful day 2 years ago. If there are any secondary 2 pupils who so happen to stumble upon this particular blog entry today, i implore you never to have second thought about taking geog for o lvls.

Trust me a student who has experienced the pain. or trust the teachers who receive their monthly income without giving a damn about ur academic performances. OH yes i do see teachers with that kind of attitute these days.

cny is coming. Great! Perfect! at least a 5 day period to relax and get my life back before i plunge into the sea of eternal damnation ;school.

I'm beginning to hate studies... i seriously hope that mental development will not continue.

Peace out!
Gabriel

2006-01-19T18:46:00.000+08:00

Temasek polytechnic... sounds awesome to me! I went for the open house today. We(bb gang) took the bridge that connects the main road to tp itself. Greeted by a host of poly students, i felt a sense of belonging to that institute, somehow. The massive courtyard was impressive...

At that moment, i knew that i had to go temasek poly...

They had this live band performance at the level just below the main courtyard. The band vintage rocked hard, but they could have done better. Man! the guitarist was crazy... I didnt really like their choice of songs. but they're good...

here a pic of my band's logo, not finalised as of yet, but still thats something...

Hopefully we'll rock the school hard on cny celebration...

PEace out
GAbriel.

2006-01-16T22:51:00.000+08:00

Today, at approximately 0735 hrs, i made a mark in the history of st.hilda's flag raisers.

In a way im proud of that. In an infamous way that is...

I dont know whats gonna become of my priviledges of being a flag raiser. Chances of being fired(80%), chances of being reinstated(5%), what the other 15% is i do not know. Maybe grace? forgiveness? lol screw that...

But i was not the only dude who contributed to the mess. It seems that the stage has been jinxed. The counciller who recited the school code also messed up, and bothered to add a lil "erm i mean, we're honest at all times". WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.

Mr kwok later mistook mr ong for giving a devotion, which in fact was the vice-principal's role. yet another cock-up... *laughs hard*

I heard of k w o k's reaction to my mistake raising the sch flag. Heard it was really funny. I can imagine that...

Homework is a norm for all of us. Its becoming one of the biggest pre-occupations in our lives. And it is despicable...

Peace out!
GAbriel

2006-01-12T23:09:00.000+08:00

I learnt a valuable lesson today, and it should be taken seriously, especially to all bb boys and officers and bb companies..(only in spore) and any other assiociations with bb. No point in preparing for bb day. It'll only end up as a futile attempt. JM fraser shd have founded bb a lil later... oh wells, cant change history... The weather's pissing everyone off. everyone.

ok everybody's doing this.. so i shall blend in...

-out

Gabriel

(No Hard Feelings frog..)
==d

2006-01-10T14:57:00.000+08:00

Perseverance and courage, do we have any of those values in our hearts now? These values must be grown in the course of time.

The rainy weather has somehow brought much comfort to me. Perhaps its a break for me after having to tolerate the more-than-usual baking weather of Singapore for one whole friggin year. Life has been a mix lately, full of adaptations to the usual routine of school, cca, and all of that.

Ive been thinking about what life really is. Is it to excel and earn a fortune through the course of hardship and disappointments, or to simply enjoy life, work to meet your means and not to go deep into the metropolitan world. Most would rather forsake the goodness and beauty of life and invest all their time, and energy in making money. Life to them, to us, is such a boring routine. You wake up, go to work either through public transport, or by a ride on your mercedes which symbolises the luxury you have painstakingly earned.

Theres gotta be more to life, more than just that...

The rainy weather does put one into a reflective mood. As such i have expressed all these thoughts.

Chinese New Year is coming. Mom's baking all the goodies and stuff that people eat during cny. Cash in the form of general red packets will overflow from your pockets. im so lookin forward to it...

PEace out!
Gabriel

2006-01-06T21:36:00.000+08:00

Procastination and self-diligence. It is by human nature that we always leave things to the last minute. That is an act of irresponsibility which i hope i'll never commit.

Im really glad that God has blessed me with a great Chemistry Teacher. Mrs lim is one heck of a chemist, and she spices up our lessons, making them really enjoyable.
Ong(e math) on the other hand, started our first lesson with a stringent tone. Very kp in fact. But i can understand her reasons for doing this, and what she said is true. The amount of time left is inadequate, it always is.

Secondary 4 life is becoming a madrush. I may not have enough time to blog...

Gotta get back to work

Peaceout!
GAbriel

2006-01-02T21:06:00.000+08:00

wow, this is my first post for 2006, aint that cool or what? lol...

I caught the movie"King Kong" yesterday at gv. All i can say is, director Peter Jackson has brought the world of cinematography to new levels. The 3 hr long film is filled with suspense, thrill, special effects, and not to forget, Jackson's style of graphic effects(as it was seen in lotr). Peter Jackson has once again shown his impeccible knowledge and skills of directing in this movie, and i highly recommend it to everyone.

School starts tomorrow. That is definately something to look forward to. Gotta get back to the normal routine agen.

Peace out!
Gabriel

2005-12-31T20:56:00.000+08:00

ok. This is it. The last moment of 2005. All i have to say is, Happy New Year!

May 2006 be a blessing to all!

Peace out!
Gabriel.

2005-12-30T22:42:00.000+08:00

As of now, its 25 hours and 15 minutes to year 2006. Made any new year resolutions? Well, im far from doing that. Maybe i'll just make my first one now.

To do well in the O level Examinations.(thats common)

Im sure there will be more to come. But they will not necessarily be made at the beginning of the year. I certainly hope that studying will become a habit for me. At least for next year.
Looking back, it has been quite a year for me. Indubitably, my Secondary 3 days has been a great and fufilling year. I was exposed to many areas of being a teenager, being a leader, as well as being a Christian, and i must say i have grown in those respective areas. The setbacks i faced were inevitable, and there will be more to come in the following years.

"Its time to get down to business"- LSH's favourite statement. I hate to admit, but its true. Somehow, i can draw inspiration from that.

2006 is a much anticipated year, for football fans that is.

Lets work hard everyone! Lets make this world a better place!

GodBless!
Gabriel.

2005-12-28T00:37:00.000+08:00

People mentioned that narnia could most likely be the next "lord of the rings". Well, after watching it, i realised that they were wrong. For the benefit of those who havent watched it, i shall jus summarise the whole movie into 3 words. It was atrocious, unrealistic, and a joke.

But hey, thats just one person's 2 cents worth opinion... so enjoy the movie...

Peace out
Gabriel.

2005-12-26T20:17:00.000+08:00

The duration of Christmas Day is as quick as the speed of light. All in a day's celebration. Afterall, its the 2000-year old birth-day of Jesus Christ, although the date isnt definately accurate. This is how i spent Christmas;really interesting.

The day started off with an ordinary home-made breakfast by my mom. We talked much, and i was excited about the baptism, namely Judith's. Finally the girl whom i used to quarrell alot with, spent most of my childhood with, whose family my family is close to, is finally getting baptised. i mean what to say? shes grown! *laughs. God Bless you!

After the church's service, i went to meet with my friends. I called them out cuz i want them to spend christmas constructively. Although our visit to lido and cineleisure didnt work out well, we did enjoy ourselves. A 1hr++ session of lan gaming wasnt that much of a frivilous activity. It was cool.

I took a mrt to serangoon after that, to candice's house. Had a ChristmasParty. But it didnt seem the same as last year's. For one thing, we didnt carol, and yea that doesnt complete the christmas celebration. We also didnt do that Present-Exchange session. The party on fri did that, and it was pretty cool. Other than that, it was ordinary.

Thats Christmas Day for me. I hope everyone had their fun on that day too!
Happy Holidays!
Gabriel

2005-12-23T23:11:00.000+08:00

At long last, the world's most anticipated festive season of the year is finally coming in 2 days' time. Christmas day, a time of celebrating, fellowship and ... ... ... .

I jus got home from a christmas party from church. It rocked hard and yea we had alot of fun playin games and singing carols, watching others(whom we saboed) "suffer" in the clutches of the organisers who engaged them in eating contests.

Saw a couple of funny video clips about christmas and other stuff. really funny and good stuff.. check it out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=icV9Dy_lxaw-Jingleheimer Junction
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=z8-f_RP9DIM - Crazy Boss
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=b1V3pb3hnRY -santa's elfs
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=rKWLk6VRf0U -Hugh Jackman and the chrismas Kangeroo

Happy Holidays!
Gabriel

2005-12-21T20:49:00.000+08:00

Ive been playing around with HTML codes lately, in an attempt to create my own skin. Im bad at that, screw it..

Had bb training today. i was the drummer for the march-in of the contingents. Its definately gonna be a success, and probably one of the best bb days the school's gonna see since years ago.

I've been spending my holidays frivilously, and i dont seem to be bothered much about school which is goin to start in 2 weeks time. My final year, time passes. It seemed like only yesterday when i first entered st.hilda's compound.

GTG now,

Namaarie
Gabriel

2005-12-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

I stumbled across this really hilarious parody of harry potter. Features Lindsay Lohan as Hermoine Granger. The message is pretty, clear. click here

2005-12-16T15:24:00.000+08:00

It looks like im going through a wind of emotions again, weighed down by the fact that the holidays is reaching its demise. Reflecting back, it was a good break. I ate, sleep, play, sleep, travelled, laughed, struggled, made friends, underwent sorrow, prayed, worshiped, envied...etc... and here i am still struggling.

I guess we cant escape our years of struggles as a teenager, as a growing child, as an adult. Life is never perfect, life cannot provide eternal satisfaction, life is incomplete by itself, and itself only. That sucks, cuz everytime i wonder, why am i on this world called" earth"? Why do i exist? Why do politics exist? Why must i always face trials and tribulations all over and over again? Why this endless cycle? Why do hurricanes exist? Why strike down the innocent? Why is evil allowed to exist? When will all this end?

I believe God has an answer for all of this, He has a reason for all the tragedies, disasters, happiness, emotional tortures, and successess i face, time and time again. I guess i have to be patient, and learn how to acccept reality and take comfort in the fact that God, is in control.

A feeling had just crossed my mind. A wake up call into the real time; you've rested enough, now get up from your haven, and attain the goals you want through hard work, its time to work.

Yup, its time to get back on where i left off.

I went for a science course yesterday held in the Singapore Science Centre. The course focuses alot on microscopic science; namely DNA. Its interesting to learn that I am the product of 3 billion forms of instructions. Still i am constantly being re-constructed according to the laws of puberty, human growth.
I made new friends, also from TLL. Really good people, wildful too.
We did some practical during the course. I was given the opportunity to handle some of the most sophisticated equipments that scientists of today use. Really interesting scientific concepts, the course was good.

Thats all for today.

Namaarie,
Gabriel

2005-12-11T22:16:00.000+08:00

Its been approximately 1 week or so since i last blogged, reason? im just too lazy now. I seem to have a lack of inspiration for completing many things. example, lack of inspiration for blogging, studying, and other activities that were once known to be habitual to me.

Habitual, is there even such a word in the english dict? oh what the heck.

Its 10.30 now, and i cant be bothered to get ready for sgb tomorrow. The 2 most dreaded days are here, and hopefully we'll find our way into that warehouse at st log. cuz the thought of sitting on a foldable chair for 12 straight hours, claded in our uncomfortable uniforms trying to promote the spirit of "caring and sharing", while behind our backs, hundreds of public citizens displaying signs of their disapproval and sneering at our folly, thats simply unbearable.

Its our last time doing this anyway, so yeah, hang in there.

Plh worship today was good, cuz i played drums! jk la. I have to admit, the new electric set is good, but still my taste in drums lies in sets made of original material.

4 days ago, i saw this guy sleeping in the mrt train, in a really unusual pose, like in a meditating position, with his mouth widely open, sleeping like a log. Really weird.

gtg now
Namaarie,
Gabriel

2005-12-02T13:47:00.000+08:00

Been busy with some bb work... sgb. whoo!!!

the past 2 days were the start of a hectic christmas season. I dont wish to blog much abt sgb, so here goes.

30th nov- slacked most of the time delivering food for the warehouse workers(boys)
1st dec- we managed the whole warehouse with an alarming strength of only 6-7 boys(excluding PFMs) Some more boys turned up later....

thats about it. Currently some of my friends are going the extra mile of doing sgb today, and thats good.

So thats it? All the events that happened in nov never seemed much, except for the 2nd last week.

Its dec now, and i know what that means. It means that i have approximately 29 days to the start of 2006, in which academically, is hell.

o lvls, im mentally unprepared, but who is? i have to stop worrying about this, and im working on that...

(on a side note) Its been 2 weeks, but to me its 2 years.....arrrghhhhhh.

Namaarie
Gabriel

2005-11-29T08:41:00.000+08:00

yo.

im back in singapore, arrived 2 days ago.

its been awhile since i blogged, reason being i've been feeling nostalgic these 2 days. perhaps its a after-effect after my trip. I resolve to go back to sydney, to blue mountain, to complete that proper expedition trail. i will...

Yesterday, we(bb pals) were involved in the sgb opening ceremony 2005. Frankly speaking, i have a thousand shitload of things to say about that major screw up. It was definately a last-minute affair, and it was terrible. The residence of Toa Payoh must be disgusted at our appearance in Hdb Hub.

There is a dark, bold line that distinguishes the attitudes between Singaporeans and Australians. Of the former, we are cold-blooded, selfish and demanding citizens who bring nothing but frustration to other people especially when situations are intense, and coorperation is much needed. Yesterday's affair was one classic example.
Aussies however are much different. They are warm-hearted, kind, and sociable people who are united in all aspects. The spirit of togetherness is there, no matter which nation you come from, they will respect you.

Singaporeans need to change.

Thats about it.. i will post pictures, when i feel like it.... :D

Namaarie
Gabriel

2005-11-24T14:04:00.000+08:00

aye guys!

Right now, im actually blogging from sydney here in my dad's office! I bet there are a couple of updated taggs, sadly i cant read them, cuz the system here in the office blocks alot of stuff... for safety reasons?

My stay in sydney for the past 4 and a half days has been enriching, just adapting quickly to the way australian citizens here live.. The weather here is totally fantasic, and i bet most s'poreans wld want this sort of weather; cool and windy, slight breezes here and there. I took quite a handful of picture here and i promise to upload them to the com as soon as i get back!

The subway transport here though is quite terrible, very disorganised and hard to navigate your way. Nonetheless, initiative has taken place and people are actually deployed in every station to guide the lost. Also, there is no such thing as an escalator in MOST subway stations. You climb up using stairways, nothing else. The worse part is, they're more expensive to travel in as compared to spore.

Everything here, and i mean everything, is expensive. Be it a bottle of mineral water or coke, every price is staggering. Service here is also sometimes terrible; take K mart staffs for example.
School students here are also rather disciplined in a sense that they all use the same school bags, and wear the same shoes. So far ive seen students above grade 10(older than me) claded in uniforms that makes them look like primary school students. The trend in spore and aus is completely different.

Circular quay, where the 2 most prominent architectural structures of sydney are located; The Opera house and Sydney bridge, is probably the best landmark of sydney i ever set foot on... The view, the weather, the scenery, they're all amazing... Pictures of these places will be uploaded here..

Thats about it for now, i hope everythings fine with my temporary unoccupied home back in spore, no power trips and stuff like that...

Namaarie
Gabriel

2005-11-18T18:21:00.000+08:00

Yo!

Finally, a long-awaited trip is starting just tomorrow! I'll be flying off to sydney till next sunday.

That means i'll have to miss church twice!

I've more or less packed my stuff.

Hope i'll enjoy myself there, and yes i'll buy some nougots(if thats how u spell it) back... Make your bookings for them now! While stocks last.. haha...

Yesterday(thursday) was spent in the most constructive manner ever so far in the hols. Had 3 tuitions. Phy, A Maths, and TLB(she was there!).

Life's been such a breeze, and i wasted almost 3 weeks of my time slacking. Well, time to bring back those good studying habits. I know ive been feeling really frustrated over trival issues, and the reason for my unhealthy behaviour remain unknown.

But things are starting to get better, hopefully i'll be refreshed after this trip.

Alright! cya' all!
Gabriel.

2005-11-15T11:27:00.000+08:00

Yo.

I added a song to my blog; Believe me by Fort Minor. Its a newly formed group that consists of renowned rappers and artists such as mike shinoda from Linkin Park. Enjoy!

Went down to downtowneast last evening with the bravo and delta people. They rented a cool chalet, both big and spacious, and it supplies air conditioning throughout the apartment. Now why didnt we check in to that place for our nco retreat? Its a much better place to host boring and draggy meetings, as well as shooting sessions.

Its been more than 3 weeks since the slacking days started, and i know that ive not been using my time wisely. As a result, i feel guilty... Its time that i start on my hmk. And thats the first thing i'll do as soon as i log off from my blog.

Namaarie!
GAbriel

2005-11-13T18:08:00.000+08:00

konichiwa!

Haha, yes as you can see its a movie poster of Andrew lau's latest movie thats yet to hit the screen, "daisy", starring jeon ji-hyun! She can be a great artist!

Alright, about yesterday. Last evening, we were invited in a ck tangs function, celebrating the opening of the children's department. The ambience there was pretty messy at first as the kitchen staff were working to their bones, preparing food and serving drinks. "a typical night of a pub worker" i thought. LAter that evening, i joined my parents for a sumptious dinner meal at The Grand Hyatt Hotel. Food was good, but i felt awkward wearing my uniform while dining in such a prestigious place.

Dad later drove past the whole stretch of orchard road, where all the christmas decorations brightened up the vicinity. Simultaneously, Mom played a christmas symphony cd in the car, while we were amazed and impressed by the wonderful display of notes hanging in the air, lited trees with different coloured lights, and giant christmas trees outside Raffles Place and Great World City. It was beautiful. After a year of stress and hard work, i could finally feel the chirstmas spirit. How time flies. Everything was perfect.

Church today was good, except for the semon which i was disppointed at. i thought that before i leave, i could at least listen to one great message. However, today's semon was terrible. Wait, it shouldnt be called a sermon, its more like a "going through a chapter" session. it was trash talking.. really disappointed. PLh was cool, except for some minor screw ups, and me dropping my sticks while filling in.. haha...

Thats about it for today, and once again, jeon ji-hyun's appearance in "daisy", is simply, fabulous.

Namaarie,
Gabriel.

2005-11-11T18:26:00.000+08:00

YO guys,

I think its time that i should give my blog a little renewal; changing its blogskin. It'll come in time.

I had dinner at the LJS branch in TM with my pals, and guess what we saw? The entire staff of my school were there, and they were moving around in 3s-4s. Maybe they had some teachers-conference meeting, or perhaps it was just a dinner celebration, rewarding all their staff of their hard work. Whatever the occasion was, it somehow turned out to be extremely hilarious to us, and we started making crap stories.

Watched "sky high" later on with them. Its has a pretty shallow and simple concept, and comical at times. YEt the message brought across through the movie was clear; everybody has a potential to be a success, it all depends on your will power to find and use it to your fullest ability. Also, another moral is, no matter how high or unregarded your position or rank is in certain companies or groups, you are very important.

Today has been quite a drag. I had to dash through the rain, coupled with strong winds blowing at all directions, in order to get to my tuitor's house.

Thats about it for today...

Namaarie
Gabriel

2005-11-10T08:56:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking about it, and i feel that i have to do it.
I suddenly have this guilty feeling about how i behave towards others, and i just want to apologise if i have offended or mistook others. Ive been trying to find my true self, the ability to futher gell in a group. I have this natural tendency to impersonate people, sometimes. It is difficult to be yourself.

I did a little reflection and quiet time last night, and i realised that my pride has overtaken my priority of loving and obeying God. Ive been wearing masks, to different people in different times. I am caught in a mix of emotions and struggles, in which most i cannot comprehend.
My spiritual growth has deteriorated, i realised. This emptyness within me, has been and still is a burden to me.

"God, please fill this up, fill this hole in me, so that i may rejoice in you and rest well in the fact that you are our most amazing shepard, both understanding and merciful. You have been through my life, and understood every speck of it. You even lowered yourself by sending yourself into this world 2,000 years ago and have gone through life, the same way we are experiencing. You accepted death for the sake of our sinful and unjust nature, and conquered the grave on the third day. That is the most wonderful demonstration of love you have shown us, though we do not deserve this, though i do not deserve this. I pray that you will guide not only me, but everyone else who is going through this phrase in life, where troubles and struggles exist."

shalom
GAbriel

2005-11-10T00:19:00.000+08:00

I cant believe it, 3 days have passed so quickly during the course of the nco retreat. Thats how bad it was. Shootings here and there, all the usual bb bullshit. However, mr hoe did knock some sense into us, directly or indirectly. Yet we all can see that he has a set of plans for us next year as he takes over mr wong, and its gonna be quite a big change in the system.

Bordem is probably one of the burdens we must face when we enjoy the hols. its time to start working.

There isnt much to blog about these days...

Oh btw, i added a daily bible verse thing at the bottom of my links, so go check it out...

Namaarie

Gabriel

2005-11-07T13:46:00.000+08:00

YO....off to nco retreat for 3 days... sian...

GAbriel.

2005-11-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

i shouldnt be online, 365 days from now. My mind will be packed with knowledge for the different subjects, knowledge of what i had been studying for 4 years.

Good luck to all sec 4 and 5s taking their o and n lvl respectively. Give off your best, the best you could ever perform. You have worked hard for 4 or 5 years, for the sake of your o lvls, so do your best, and leave the examination hall with no regrets. Most of all, do it for God's glory! committ your papers to the LOrd, and he will help you.

I can imagine the anxiety that i will be facing in a year from now. Thoughts of the past 4 years spent in school, cca, and having fun with your friends. All of those memories should and will flash through my mind, and i will think to myself " it all comes down to this, the final strip of the final lap in secondary school, i'll either rise or fall, rejoice in my success or to be weighed down with sorrow and regret"

It is amazing, how much we can learn from 4 years, the friendships we forge, enemies we do not intent to make, lessons and lifeskills learned through experience and worksheets. But we must always remember the ultimate reason why we're here, in secondary school; o'lvls.

So to all those who have yet to take them, always work hard. To those who were spared of being retained, make good use of this opportunity, this one chance to prove yourself that you are born with an infinite ability to learn, and attain grades beyond your imagination. Unleash and discover your potential, cuz i believe everyone has it. Its just a matter of taking some of your time to pay attention to yourself.

2 months are given to us, and you all know how you should use it to the fullest. Teachers and parents have told you many times, and this period is essential. Once January 1 of 2006 starts, it will be like a mad rush for time, and you will realise that the past 2 months were well needed. Your Graduating year is a year not to be messed with.

To those who are takin o lvls in 24 hours time, Best of luck!

Namaarie

Gabriel.

2005-11-03T12:12:00.000+08:00

If you would read the newspapers and watch the news, you'll realise that the world is moving towards a strong field of chaos and panick.

We have our SARS outbreak back in 2003, plenty of terriorist attacks all over the world, be it asia or europe, the mindless act of the war on iraq, and most recently, a pandemic virus H5N1, or most commonly known as "bird flu".

In 2001, 2 of the worlds most recognised towers that lay still in the city of new york for more than 30 years have eventually been struck down by a terrorist group that i presume, wants to be globally known in the negative light. It seems that the following chain of events after 9/11 became even more severe, more lethal.
9/11 marked the start of the reign of chaos.

I dont even know why i am so interested in this side of life, but this coincidence has been bugging me recently. However i think that we singaporeans, and other parts of the world that are not affected, must be ready to face such adversities, if spore's time has come.

What shaun lee said was true. While millions out there are suffering from earthquakes, diseases, bombings, and the agony of the loss of their loved ones, here we are complaining that the weather is too hot.

Do not take the luxury of attending school, living under a roof, and having enough pocket money to buy your favourite branded goods for granted. Someday we may not have the chance to do these things again.

Aside from all the worldly troubles, yes i am still struggling against my lazy nature to start on my first homework.

Thats about it!

Namaarie!

GAbriel.

2005-10-30T20:47:00.000+08:00

Its been 3 days since my school term ended, and it feels as if years have passed, let alone the upcoming 2 months of intense preparation for the ultimate objective in secondary school; o lvl.
I know i have to balance out my time for studying and gaming. Its a discipline that i must cultivate, or else i'll be screwed..

My brain is rotting now, after our 2 whole weeks of breaking and slacking and gaming, practically all the stuff that wastes most of your time. My scope of knowledge is constantly deterioating and i had to take the extra mental effort to remember the essential points in certain subjects. Its time to enjoy now, least we have the opportunity to, until the coming tide of next year's doom. once again; the o'lvl.

alright will edit this post later... gonna dota now... hahahahaha

Namaarie

What a shock!

2005-10-26T20:43:00.000+08:00

I bet people are bloggin about what happened in school earlier on...

It was a shock....

Well, today's been a drag... Had lots of hall programmes and a lil video on how to cope with the death of your closed ones in class... To tell you the obvious truth, all productions, especially video productions made by MOE scuk. The actors seriously need to train up their acting skills in order to make an impactful film for students to view and reflect...

Wasted hours of my time sleeping in class, along with everybody else, while the drop-in-centre counciller did her best to facilitate the activity.

"moving on".... what bull.....shit.....

Now, comes the talent time...

Zheng yang totally blew up the stage!!! He is in the limelight of today! Dude of the day! haha. Im surprised that he'd go to such an extent of soloing for a girl he likes... In addition, he really has the vocals! Too bad the bouquet of flowers he threw landed on rebecca from 3A!!!! LOL LOL LOL
She was flabbergasted at the moment the flowers landed on her!! Pity that andrew's love retreated to the back...

Talent time was interesting today.!

However, simultaneously, every sec 3 hildan had a shock of their lives. And im pretty certain about that.

I shant say anything about the shocking end of the talent time performance.

All i can conclude is, either they are not serious in playing REAL music, or there is plenty, and i mean PLENTY of improvement.. Seriously, they should just stick to breakdancing...
Dont get me wrong, they are excellent breakdancers, infact they should pursue that inborn skill they have, and maybe find a place in life..

Learn new breakdancing skills! Expand your knowledge! Dont destroy your reputation in your school.

But dont, and i mean DONT mix breakdancing with playing music in a band...

Thats about it.
Namaarie.

2005-10-21T21:34:00.000+08:00

It had to be geography. why? WHY?!?!?!!

Why is that dumb subject always getting in my way of achieving no failures for all my subs!!!!

I must say that mrs koh has a serious attitude problem. She never fails to display that kao bei look on others, and spoiling our moods at the beginning of the day. And she failed us, well most of us. That shitbag never even bothered to moderate our marks for those who failed by a decimal? Thats dumb.

SS however was pretty alright, taking the performance of the class into consideration. I passed! and its a just pass. not good at all yes, but i passed.. There is much to recover from ss, much to learn from.

Just as i have expected, my humanities will be the bane of my academic life. LEast now i have one heavy burden off my shoulder, CHEMISTry. I passed that too!

Tea chapter was stupid, dumb, and boring. That was yesterday's agenda for us sec 3. The worst excursion. Who bothers to smell the "sweet " scent of the brewed tea before transferring a couple of times, until you finally get to drink from that tiny miserable cup of tea that tastes nothing more than an ordinary cup of chinese tea in a restaurant.

How stupid...

Also, we were the first batch to try out this electronic chinese dictionary made by creative tech. Its main aim is to manipulate the knowledge of hanyu pinyin into words just by a few clicks on the gadget. It wasnt that accomplished. In fact, its pretty screwed up, especially the pronounciation part. Im quite surprised MOE actually approved it, without even examining the final product.

Big deal...

Its bb tml, so cya all!

Gabriel

2005-10-19T23:41:00.000+08:00

ok, i gotta admit it. I have an enormous crush on Jeon ji-hyun. Its about time i guess, that i like someone whole-heartedly, be it a fellow schoolmate, or a celebrity. This time is different, my crush is a korean actress! That means, i wont understand her speakin in korean, nor will she understand my dependant use of english for communication. Well, who knows? she may know a lil bit of english. Haha.

Shes a christian btw!

I think its a blessing to have a crush on someone. It sorta relieves your mind from all the stress and accumulated frustration over things and issues that will become meaningless in time to come. however, you shd not pursue that crush to an extent of establising a relationship with the person. That, will inflict serious injury to one's self.

I Got back my results today. It wasnt really well done. At least i didnt fail a single subject. Currently, my humanities subject remain unknown to me, so my mind isnt at ease yet.

But life is more than just grades that we achieve in school right? Seriously, thats a priority, but living by that alone is sad. I felt joy after my depression over my results, taking all my investments for tuition into consideration. But then again, i realised that i needed those, regardless of the cost.

Mr lai is a joke, haha. He missed out on a section where he did not mark.

Anyways, tomorrow is an excursion to some tea factory or somthing. Definately something to do with tea. Hopefully it will be a relaxing outing that will restore peace in my mind and move on with life, and whats laid ahead by God.

Alright! its 3 minutes to midnight! Off to sleepmode!

Namaarie!

2005-10-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

Mann! Its been a rainy sunday!

ANyways, went to vid ezy to rent 3 dvds for 13.5 bucks. Supersize me, a michael moore movie, and some other movie my dad wanted starring bruce willis(if thats how u spell his name).

Once again, i'd like to question your motives about what you said on my tag board, esp. hurling insults about Jesus Christ. You should know who you are. I hope you are reading this, cuz if you have a problem, tell me. If you're just bored, then you shd know better than to insult God. I hope you've got some sense in you, and to recognise the seriousness of what you just mentioned.

For the rest who dont know what im talking about, ignore that paragraph.

ALright! Church today was good. Aunt lisa led worship for 9am service, and it was great! Today's message was rather long, and i did absorb something out of it. The songs chosen for lighthouse worship today was better. Its great to sing all those songs again, and not the hymm-orientated ones. heh.

I had a sumptious japanese meal, with my folks and a couple of friends. I could never imagine a simple bowl of rice with some beef toppings could actually fill up my stomach. The wonders of japanese food.

As i am typing this entry, people are packing and getting ready for their OBS tomorrow. Good luck guys, and i hope you'll have a fun time over at pulau ubin. Its a nice place! really! haha.

gtg peeps!

PEace out!

2005-10-15T20:43:00.000+08:00

I cant comprehend this, but the fear of my results grows even stronger as a day passess. Is this normal? All i can be sure of is this, that i did my best and God has a plan for me installed, regardless of what my outcome will be. yep, thats assuring enough.

I went out for a lil lan gamin session with frog, oldophile, and tian wei. It was ok, at least we could easily find ourselves places early in the morning. My cs skills are still intact, despite the fact that i didnt like that game. IT must have been battlefield 2! lol.

I read this really cool website introduced by oldophile, retardpetrol.blogspot.com. Its a major critic website about alot of things, from anti- Ac ppl, to racism. Real funny. go check out my links i'll have it linked to my blog right after i post this.

Nothing much happened today. At least it was a quiet saturday for me, not a hectic one. But i guess this will be the last saturday that i will be free from bb bondage. Mann!! BB comes in right after the end of our exams. Its a sick feeling, tryin to tolerate orders given by bb fanatics. They need to get a life, seriously. Go to ebay.com, and buy one for just 1 US dollars! Thats $1.70 spore dollars! haha, sry ben stole ur line.

Its like 9pm now, and ive not eaten dinner. dont know when the pizza guy will come. The service industry is deterioating, in terms of punctuality and attitudes in serving others. i dont even know why im so concerned about this, but i guess everybody's tired of living these days, i mean just look at the weather! its frying up our world. Have u read the headlines of yesterday's paper? "Earth gets hotter as global warming takes hold". Folks, you shouldnt be surprised about this, and there are places in this world who do not experience rain at all, all year round.

Ok, enuff of this crap, gtg now

Namaarie!

2005-10-14T20:34:00.000+08:00

Vedui' il'er!

I had a stay over at kz's crib, and it was some experience, chilling out at your friend's place playing his playstations, and dozing off while watching a boring movie such as "be cool". But before that, we watched another movie, "windstruck" starring jun ji hyun. I fell in love with her in the process. haha, but that instant infatuation will fade away soon, its always like that.

I fell sick during the stayover, perhaps its due to the unhealthy air emitted from the aircon, or the dust from kz's bed... whatever it was, it felt terrible.

And the prawn mee sucked.

Heres some of jun ji hyun's pics! enjoy!

2005-10-13T15:05:00.000+08:00

Alo! Salut! Thats hello in romanian! Today's the third day of the 8 complete holidays, and for some ppl, their exams have just finished. Congrats that u made it, and hopefully you'll excel!

Ive been pretty worried for my results lately, despite the fact that i knew i did my best. Especially English, well, as they say, fail it and you're finished. I pointed out some of the mistakes i made during english, but thats only a small part of the essay. Hopefully the teachers will be sane enough to give us a lil bit of leniency.

Well, i just watched a movie that ive longed for at least a year or so. Last time i watched it was last year? Dec? Yep, The Fellowship Of The Ring. I remembered the first time i saw it in the cinemas, that was about 4 years ago in primary 5. At first i was frightened when i saw the trailer, but little did i know it made a tremendous impact in me. Just as a famous writer said, "The Lord Of The Rings is not just another fantasy, but it relates to real life, real incidents, all the qualities in it." And thats true, so true. It basically dictates J.R.R. Tolkien's life, linking most of the stories described in the fantasy in his life, like the destruction of The Shire, thats linking to the industrial revolution. His love for the most extrodinary creatures on earth that is able to develop strong bonds with humans; Horses. As seen in the 2nd and 3rd installments, Rohan, a pride of tolkien's expericence with riding horses when he was in the army. He also experienced war, losing many of his close-friends in the process. His agony and pain was also recorded indirectly in his novel. This is amazing, and i will always be a lotr fan.

Moving along, i dont know why but i have developed a sudden crave for techno music. Perhaps it was "dragostea din tei" that gave me inspiration.

Alright, got a game to catch!

namaarie!

2005-10-11T23:17:00.000+08:00

yo.

I recommend this movie " goal!" to everyone, especially soccer fans. Yep, caught it today at 2pm with the same ppl, except for 3 or 4 ppl.

Theres nothing much to blog about these days, all i can say is, thing are getting boring. Somehow...

Peaceout

Gabriel

2005-10-10T21:17:00.000+08:00

Its over!!! Finally!!! The past 7-8 days have was one heck of a long week. but its over now!! i gave my best and i certainly bear no regrets, its all up to God's mighty plan for me...

After the exams today, i finally installed my BF-2!! Mann the graphics are great! 2 hrs later i went to tm to catch a movie with qing,jun,tianwei,jingyun,chengyong,leonard,jeremy & yuherng. Initially we were planning to watch "goal!", instead we bought tickets for "into the blue"... It was a good movie, and it has plenty of moral values. Your greed for $$ can cause a great deal of damage to your loved ones, as it was illustrated in the movie. Alba was indubitably hot, yep! real hot! But there was this scene where she was so called "violated" . well, the point is, theres a high price to pay for messing with a woman as elegant as alba herself, like getting your fatherhood chewed hard by a shark. OUCH!!!! Also, there was this guy who got his eye eradicated by a arrow gun or something...

We did some lan gaming after that; dota.... and it was satisfying. Never expected myself to own some others, and frog especially!!! haha...was fun...

That about it for today. The sucky thing is, i have to return to school tomorrow and the day after tomorrow for submitting a form and carrying out my flag raising duties respectively.

peace out

GAbriel